The Twitter Landing Page

Hi. You’re probably here because you’ve followed me on Twitter. You might find the below helpful to know…

  • I’m not Ms or Mrs Frances; that’s my middle name.
  • I have two Twitter accounts, @MaxineFrances for tweets about dyspraxia and SEN aimed at my corporate speaking and training audiences, and @shakeandcrawl for tweets about my writing and miscellaneous life stuff. If you only use Twitter for work, and only want to follow people who use it for work, follow the first one. It’s a lot quieter and more work-y.
  • I tend to tweet from @shakeandcrawl a few times a day so if you don’t follow many people you’ll probably see my tweets and retweets pretty often. If this bothers you, mute me, follow more people or don’t follow me. Without telling me about it. Easy-peasy.
  • Shake and Crawl is a song by the House of Love. You’re most likely to remember them for Shine On. If you want a longer explanation, you’d probably better pour yourself a drink first…
  • I love meeting up with people from Twitter but I prefer to wait until we know we’ve got enough to talk about rather than go for coffee with someone eager after we’ve exchanged a handful of tweets.
  • I try to use hashtags if I’m live-tweeting a TV show or event so you can mute if you don’t want spoilers or aren’t interested (I mute X Factor, Bake Off and Britain’s Got Talent, because I’m not. Probably the only TV talent show contestant I’ve ever liked is Rebecca Ferguson).
  • I’ve muted all mentions of the following from my Twitter feeds as a time and sanity-saver. As a guideline, if you find many of these people or their supporters appealing to listen to, we’re probably not going to enjoy each other’s tweets or each other’s company very much: Breitbart, Katie Hopkins, Liz Jones and all professional controversialists. Most political bloggers. People on the left of politics who spend most of their time angry with other people on the left of politics. Men who Explain Things to women a lot. Men with a suspiciously prodigious interest in rape cases and sexual offence laws. White people from Basingstoke with “anarchist” in their bio. Senior Ukippers and Donald Trump aren’t on this list only because the thought of them being let near crayons scares me so much I want to keep up with them.
  • Things that also won’t endear you to me: Being a neo-Nazi (I’d have thought this was fairly obvious but a few fans of Britain First, the EDL and the BNP have taken an interest in my life. For the avoidance of doubt, I want nothing to do with you). Being fond of conspiracy theories/fake news/bad science. Arguments that begin with “Actually…”, or end in: “Deal with it/Simples/end of.” Having a go at me about a line in an article I retweeted written by someone else. Telling me I’m wrong about something because you want to be right more than be helpful. Finding Ricky Gervais or Russell Brand funny. Persistently retweeting awful people, whether in agreement or not. The same for gory photos of war/tortured children/animals, however well-meaningly. I’m as appalled by war, child murder and animal cruelty as anyone, but I don’t need to see it.
  • If you have Views about what consenting adults do with each others’ bodies, do us both a favour and wander off.
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