So, 2015

“So swallow all your tears, my love, and put on your new face. You can never win or lose if you don’t run the race.” (I know you’re supposed to quote someone like Ghandi or Gunter Grass or Dorothy Parker at this juncture, but sod it, that’s Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs…).

Much like 2011, 2014 was a year divided starkly down the middle into good and hideous. Promising until July, quite cruddy from August to October, briefly better again at the beginning of November, before ending on the very worst possible note. Thankfully, I managed a peaceful Christmas and saw in the New Year with one of my dearest friends in a place free of unwanted resonances. It would be really nice if this were a profound, breakthrough year; though I’d settle for it not being a living nightmare…

Resolutions, I have a few.

  • Grow all areas of my business All being well, I’ve finally fixed myself up with some proper mentoring, as opposed to “guiltily snatching a free hour from a kind person I met at a conference.”
  • Get proper therapy Had a positive conversation with NHS Healthy Minds before Christmas and it seems they may actually be offering something properly helpful. I won’t hold my breath until it happens, but recent events seem to have made them look at me a bit more carefully…
  • Manage procrastination “Procrastination: Why You Do It. What To Do About It NOW“, one of few self-help books I’ve ever stuck with, has some useful insights into the first. 
  • Finish The Novel It’s going to hurt, but giving up now would too.
  • Run to raise money for mental health charities I’m aiming for The BUPA London 10K in May and if that goes well, the Royal Parks Half-Marathon in October. I stopped running early last year because of aches and pains, probably down to bad technique, but missed the mental health benefits, and am easing my way back in with the help of a slightly patronising but nicely-designed NHS app. As for the better-known perk, I don’t tend to give a fig about my weight, but it’s mildly awkward remembering a particularly politely earnest compliment once given to you about your figure, shortly after you’ve remembered you haven’t sat down to a meal of less than four types of carbohydrate since mid-November…
  • Launch a successful new mental health blogging project To be unveiled very shortly. I wouldn’t say “excited” is the right word, but I’m hoping for a positive response.
  • Make a list of all the unread books on my shelves and work my way through them. Enough said.
  • If not actually achieve any dramatic change in terms of moving out, travelling or meeting significant new people, at least get to a point where any of these things feel a bit more feasible than they do right now.

Edited to add: I’ve also written this piece for Medium about the best New Years resolution I’ve ever made, back in 2010, letting go of a friend I never had. And it’s the last unpaid thing I’m going to write about it, ever.

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3 thoughts on “So, 2015

  1. I’m excited for you moving ahead with these things! And I’m curious as to your booklist when you’ve made it – I’m also trying to read more to clear my overstuffed shelves (by which I mean: there are two piles and one box on the floor BESIDE the overstuffed shelves), and if it turns out we’ve got any unread books in common maybe we can read them together.

    • Thanks Ang! I really hope I can accomplish this stuff. I just want to be able to look back and say “I did it.” I’ve had so many letdowns it’s difficult to believe I can actually make it happen but I would so, so like to. I will let you know my book list! Xx

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