Resolutions

  • Finish writing the damn novel As I said before, after a long run of productivity, I got behind schedule near to the end of the year. As I looked for motivations to get my fire back, suddenly all of them began to sound negative. Hopefully, if I can get back into the mind that I am doing this primarily for myself and not to stick two fingers up at various other people it’ll be enjoyable again.
  • Run regularly again The last two times (mid-November/early December) I ran I had the most horrendous stitch I cried in pain and I haven’t been since. I don’t know why it happened and all the things everyone says about it lifting your mood are true so I should really fall back in love with it.
  • Stick to doing Pilates at home until I can afford classes again Ditto about it being beneficial.
  • Enjoy journalism again In the past I’ve always loved what I do even when there isn’t enough of it to do. To get a commission and experience nothing but blankness where excitement and pride used to be is horrible. Related to which…
  • Pitch something outside my comfort zone every now and then, say, every 3 months or so. Freelancing is supposed to be freeing but in reality it’s easy to get hemmed in and a lot of editors are risk-adverse. I think the key to enjoying what I do again (see above) may be to learn and write about more different things.
  • Move, or at least have a coherent idea of how and where to As things stand I’m actually happy to stay in this area for now and perhaps move further afield/abroad (Berlin…?) when I’m in a relationship (hahahaha…) with someone who wants to do that, or my business has grown. But I would like not to be in this house. Obviously.
  • Catch up with people I still haven’t seen since before my friend’s death It’s hard to believe that it’ll be three years this summer and that this is still an existent category. It’ll be strange to see people who last saw me when I was so happy I’d do things like sing: “All the single potatoes…” to the tune of Beyonce’s Single Ladies at dinner. But it needs to be done if I’m ever going to move forward definitively and be that happy again.
  • Try and be a tiny bit less cynical A few weeks back my dad told me I had too bleak a view of the world and coming from him that’s practically sinister. Unfortunately, writers tend to be misfits and/or receptacles for shabby behaviour, so it’s a tough habit to break…
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